The Stars

In the beginning, the almighty created the stars.
Soon after followed man. Shaped in the image of their creator and with a penchant for creation themselves.
Man flourished. Ever more complex in tools and culture. In two short millennia man had dominated most of the known world. Then, in their thirst for more. More creations. More knowledge. Man turned their eyes to the earlier concoctions of the one who brought them forth.
The stars.
As man admired the stars in all their glory and power, questions begun to be asked. Questions that would shape man in ways nought else had before. Man stared at the stars and asked;

I wonder what she looks like without make-up?
Are they dating?
Is that a scandal?
How did they lose weight so quickly?

And thus, OK! magazine was born!



I'm getting into a not so healthy habit of using bathos all the time now. But dammit, humour is my comfort zone!
What is the deal with these magazines anyway? Heat, Ok!, Bella etc. I never quite understand why people would spend good money on a series of photographs of someone they've never met and most likely never will. Is it the deep seated cynic in me that thinks people just wish to make themselves feel better by seeing their icons in a state of disarray? Probably. Would I want to be one of those writers who pokes and jibes these strangers in the fashion of a common playground bully? Sullying their hard earned name just to earn a few more coin for my own selfish agenda to become rich and powerful myself? No...okay yes. But I wouldn’t enjoy it! I’d merely enjoy going back to my large and needlessly expensive home, adorning myself in silk pyjamas and proceeding to roll around in whatever finery is in style that week. All the while gargling on the finest caviar and eating volauvents in a most auspicious manner with my harem of supermodel-come-volleyball champions dancing in the background. Laughing at the underlings vying for the opportunity of who gets to be my foot rest later that evening. That I would enjoy.

Of course, there’s a good chance my idea of what paparazzi writers earn and get up to on their downtime is grossly incorrect.