The Droopy

Question: Can you quantify an emotion?

Answer: Probably not.

Fun Answer: I have!

 While engaging in luncheon with a colleague (read: drinking beer with my flatmate) he posed this question. More specifically he asked:

"If misery could be measured, what unit would it have?"

 Of course not wanting to pass up the opportunity to make our mark on history (read: crack a joke) we threw our brains at this wall of a problem like the crash test dummies they are. So we gave misery a unit.

Ladies and gents, I give you: The Droopy. Or Dr.

Named in his honour.

Where 100Dr = 1 Boohoo (Bh)

Then there's the speed at which one becomes miserable, the rate at which that happens, an area that inflicts misery.

And so on and so forth...

You're welcome, science!

Watery Wings

November 14th 2013
415 days since it happened

 It all seemed like the usual routine; Autumn in the UK? Wave hello to the rain! And at first it was fun. People scurried from doorway to doorway, children splashed in the ever growing puddles, the population became a sea of umbrellas, hoods and hats. I for one had become soaked to my underwear on one venture out having slipped and fallen. I just laughed it off.

Then it came.

 I scoffed at the notion when it was uttered and in my defence the idea was laughable. An invention of a childlike mind. Who's laughing now?
 Without so much as a whisper of a hint the great force enveloped the nation, draping all but the South East in it's cold, damp form. The capital spared by mere miles. Nothing could be done, by ourselves or the outside world. It's body spanned the length and breadth of nations and yet it was as no more substantial than a warm breath on a cold Winter's day. What weaponry, what force, what army, could possibly harm or deter something so vast and seemingly infinite as this beast?

 Scotland  and Northern England suffered the worst blow. What appeared as the head of this creature had opened it's tremendous maw and taken the land into that maddening abyss. Wales had been lodged almost permanently in the throat of the vile thing. An eternally moist blanket that became thicker at indeterminate times as if it had been a patchwork quilt sewn from rags.
 There was no way to avoid it. No way to even begin to imagine anything like this would, or even could, happen. However, we are surviving. As unknowable as it may be it does not have the intent to send us to a watery grave, that much is now certain. Who knows what our future will hold. Some top men are speculating that due to the size and nature of this event it is entirely possible our own bodies may begin to change. Life must adapt. Still, life goes on. Albeit somewhat more aquatic than it used to be.

...ha. Aquatic. A-quack-tic. Ha ha. Has water ever driven a man mad?

 I'm not sure how much more I can keep writing after this. Paper is all but useless now; too soft and easily destroyed. Electronics are too susceptible to the creature's form as well. Maybe I'll write more in a few weeks. Someone should now what it was like in the beginning. Before...it.

Before...
...the Rain Duck.

Something Geeky This Way Comes

Damn was that last post ever broody. All it needed was some greasy hair and torn jeans to become a written embodiment of a teenager. Onwards and upwards! Or...sideways most likely.

For years I have never been one to start watching a show that has long been over. Watching something that has a definitive end just made the episode count seem more like a countdown. Seeing as a lot of great series never truly got their own end, TV execs doing what they seem to do best and killing dreams (not that I'm bitter or anything), I never wanted to get invested only to be left hanging and asking what happens next. Kind of like avoiding a relationship just so you don't get hurt.

(Ha ha! "Avoiding a relationship" is that what you call it?)
Hush brain!

But lately this thought process has been turned on it's head. In the ever maddening craving for another space opera since the untimely demise of Stargate Universe (damn you network heads!) and with nothing on the horizon, I have turned to past greats to get my fix. Star Trek: The Next Generation and Firefly being the main contenders for my time. That's when I noticed it.

I'm becoming a bigger geek than I used to be. And I love it.

Geek. Nerd. Dork (the other one not the penis one). Label it, don't label it, the point is as time goes on I'm becoming more comfortable with who I am. This is almost entirely down to the friends I've made over the past few years (tissues at the ready). Thanks to the likes of Download Festival and the social-maker that comes in bottles and cans I was lucky enough to become good friends more like-minded people. Sure there are folk I know who like their free times gaming fried or basted in science-fiction, but when it came to comic books, cartoons, bad movies and the like, there wasn't really many to share some "Oh em gee, did you see what the Doctor did to that Dalek?" or "Batman's latest story arc is so blasé," moments around the water cooler. Which brings to mind the fact I have never had any conversation around a water cooler and now believe it to be an urban myth like Bigfoot or people who use the word blasé.
 Over time I have discussed the geeky subjects as one one might discuss a great novel or a fine wine, only with more capes and explosions. Being able to openly talk about these things has weakened a sort of wall I had put up to protect myself from the kinf of mocking most geeks receive from the general public. Combine that with the likes of The Big Bang Theory popularising the stereotypical geek/nerd and such aspects as geek-chic in the fashion world, it is downright cool to be what once was considered uncool.
 Of course I'm still not completely open about my penchant for the superpowered, the hi-tech, or the magical, lest those of other persuasions suddenly acquire a love for torches and pitchforks. This entire article may well let the spcae-cat out the bag of holding but having already written a review of a comic book I doubt this is news. Now if you don't mind, the Enterprise has been stolen and only Picard and Riker are left to save it. The suspense!