I'm Back! My Back!

*gasp* Wait! *pant pant* I'm...I'm here. *deep breath*

Delays. Lateness. While there's most likely a cream for that, I do have something in the vague shape of an excuse. You see just over two weeks ago I took the next step in this whole growing up nonsense and moved out of my parents' house. Sure I once did the same thing at university but any student will tell you that it's a completely different scenario. Why does a change in location warrant blogosite neglect, you ask? It doesn't really, but up until a few days ago the flat (that's an apartment to you colony-folk) was without access to the webway. Shock! Horror! I couldn't social network. I couldn't watch videos of cats. I couldn't read my e-mails from a Nigerian prince. The world became a bleak and horrid place. Survival in this harsh wasteland of reality was an arduous experience at best. Every time I opened a door and was not greeted with an advert for online poker or some other less than savoury pop-up, I didn't know how to react. The postman was less than happy upon my enquiry into the quality of his spam-filter and muttered something about Sue-ing. I don't know who Sue is but she's probably a lovely person.
 The internet is in my home now and will continue to be as long as me and my room/house/flatmate feed it monies on a regular basis. The extra bonus to moving? New neighbourhood! New experiences! All this amounts to finding things to inspire new thoughts, musings, rhymes, ramblings and adventures to write about. The first of which was going to be right here and filled with pictures of wonderful people in amazing costumes being wonderfully amazing. I planned on heading to Thought Bubble, you see. The annual comic convention in Leeds was this weekend and I was going to dash through and get very trigger happy with my camera, until dark forces conspired against me and through some ancient magicks and vile curses, a muscle was pulled in my back, thus rendering extended periods of movement stupidly painful. Now it will be a whole year before that plan is hatched. But don't you worry, the muscle is on the mend and I'll be back to thwarting villains and upholding truth and justice sitting around trying to amuse strangers with words.

Stay sexy!

Phat Fatties

Do you have a pet? I do. He's awesome. A one dog wonder! Josh is loud when he wants to be and quiet at any other time. He's also a little fat.
A fat pet can fall into two categories; overfed and spoilt. He is most definitely spoilt. Now spoilt pets are those who live the best lives, never wanting for anything be it food, toys or affection. They're tended to 24/7 and generally get fat because we care and it is all too easy to slip them a treat now and then. They're the furred, feathered and scaled image of Western society. The best example of this is any time your pet has been looked after by a family member who shares in your insanity. Whenever my dog is watched over by my grandmother I can guarantee he will return somewhat heavier than when he left. His time at her house is like going on a meat-tasting holiday. I'm talking fresh meat, cooked and served to him. The dog eats better than I do. It seems to be a common practice as well with my sister's dog gaining several pounds upon moving in with her boyfriend. Our very own Abbie has a fat pet too. A cat. Now rounder than ever. He's kind of more pinata than cat.

Overfed pets though, now they are another story. I don't quite know for sure but from what I can tell animals will eat their fill and then some. You ever heard an animal say "Ooh, you know what? I think I'll stop there. That last biscuit will go straight to my thighs." ? No, of course not. The very idea is ludicrous! Overfed pets are a cause for anger amongst animal lovers (the affectionate kind not the physical) because it's more than likely the animal is suffering. We've all seen pictures of rotund cats and dogs, their owners smiling with glee because their neglect has garnered them 5 minutes of fame while the animal in their arms has lost years of their life.
You can probably tell that any harm towards an animal ruffles my feathers (pun completely intended). I have been known to switch into a state of rage upon seeing a dog locked in a car on a hot day with the windows shut tight. Whether this has something to do with me looking something akin to a disco gorilla, all hairy with the occasional afro, I have no idea, but writing that sentence has just given me my next Halloween costume idea. No I'm afraid you people with obese pets need a good roundhouse to the face and the same goes for people who dress them up in things. Our pets are great, sure, they're funny, cute, puzzling and more often than not the thing that brightens our day up. Yes they're phat. But they don't have to be fat.


And now, Abbie weighs in. (Weighs in...'geddit? I'm frickin' hilarious!)


Abbie
"Ah, Norman. What can I say about Norman? We got him just about a year ago now as a tiny kitten from the RSPCA, and as stated, he was incredibly tiny. Granted, after neutering a pet there are some general cases of weight gain and whatnot…but for the love of GOD! How have you gotten THIS big?! We’ve never made any drastic changes to your meal, brand-wise or portion-wise, and try to play with you whenever you aren’t sleeping or eating or farting in a ghastly manner. Have we been doing something wrong?

Actually, no, we haven’t…you see, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, Norman has come across the old lady that lives over the fence at the back of our garden…and she is a ‘cat lady’. He has been tempted in by big portions and promises of nibbles during every visit. Since Norman has started popping that way on his little afternoon-ly adventures, he has been putting on the podge. Where once he was slim, lithe, and generally quite athletic before, he now waddles when he walks. He isn’t in an extreme case of weight gain, but noticeably, he has gotten much, much tubbier.

Safe to say, my mother and I are feeling betrayed…how could he just disregard our love like that and go to another woman?!!?

I’m off to drown my sorrows in a bucket of ice cream…"

Strange and Wonderful

"That man has another man's severed arm stuffed down his throat."

That was just one of the figures portrayed in a two-page spread at the beginning of the comic. It only got better from there.

 I'm not normally a fan of the ultra-violent, but the funny pages do it so much better than the movies. This is no more evident than in the hit new series The Strange Talent of Luther Strode. Only two issues in of a promised 6 issue story, the comic is already making a name for it's creators. And I'm already praying to the mighty geek gods for more from this series. Written, drawn and coloured by Justin Jordan, Tradd Moore and Felipe Sobreiro respectively, the story centres on scrawny, bespectacled teenager Luther Strode who upon the ordering of a fitness book, The Hercules Method, gets what he paid for and then some when he develops muscles, reflexes and abilities that rival the big name heroes from other publishers. Suddenly the cliché becomes a reality for Luther as all eyes turn to him along with that of a cute girl...and some with a more sinister gaze.

The cover drew me in way before the synopsis.

 Arriving from Image Comics who are fast becoming a fresh story goldmine, I was blown away by the quality of the book from the get go. The writing is spot on, giving you hints of back-story that seem to flow naturally from the conversations and make the characters seem believable. Information isn't forced down your throat (like severed limbs) and leaves enough mystery to satisfy you until the next hit. With the gorefest that is the opening pages set in the present, the story leaps back to when Luther Strode had just received his fitness book that had me begging to know how he got from there to playing here-comes-the-aeroplane with another man's arm. Justin Jordan couldn't have a better big debut than this and has hinted to future stories that I'm sure will eat my money before it knows what happened.
 The art is a treat to look at as well. Fantastically designed characters and environments that Tradd Moore has somehow managed to make both simple at first glance, yet filled with little details upon closer inspection. From tight profile shots to room-wide views. This is all brought to a high by the colours of Felipe Sobreiro, who makes the characters pop out of each panel and instils each page with life. Before I even knew what the story was about (and I'm a glutton for a good story) I was drawn to the book by the cover alone; a testament to the skill of Moore and Sobreiro.

The first issue has already gone in for a second printing as everyone hungrily snaps up each one. With an aim to appease fans of superheroics, old-school slasher flicks or just plain ol'fun, this series is well on it's way to doing just that. No doubt there are some suits in Hollywood ready to get into a bidding war over the movie rights. I can't recommend this enough. Available in both printed and digital formats, there's no excuse for not giving The Strange Talent of Luther Strode a try. Well, unless you have an arm in your throat.



For more details visit www.thestrangetalentoflutherstrode.com

Let Me Illustrate The Point

Posh Internet Gentleman #1: I say! What the devil is that hovering in the ether there above us?

Posh Internet Gentleman #2: Why I do believe it is a new title banner.

Posh Internet Gentleman #1: New title banner? With an image?

Posh Internet Gentleman #2: The very same. Spiffing, what.

Posh Internet Gentleman #1: Yes. Bully!


If the seeing-balls in your head haven't given it away, then those fine gentleman probably have. Yes readers that is a shiny, new title banner. How new? Brand spanking new!
As some of you more long-term readers may know (aka Team Superfly) I have dabbled with a doodle now and then. What's more you'll know that I lack the necessary skill and fancy-pants beret to be an artist. So where did this quality doodle originate from? What magics did I invoke to acquire such talent? Well let me tell you a little story. It all started in a rain soaked field in Derby...

...I awoke to stale air and a mesh cocoon. To my half open eyes and constricted limbs my world was naught but misty lime green. Gradually I unzipped my sleeping bag as the interior of my tent came into focus. Download Festival 2011 was in full swing all around me as the muffled laughs and greetings seeped into my fabric room in the field. The pocket of space I inhabited was quickly heating up in the morning sun, prompting me to scrabble for the doorway amidst my strewn belongings. The surrounding grass my friend and I had tried so hard to defend in favour of our friends had quickly become a nesting ground for more of the tent creatures. All ropes and striking colours. So much for that plan. Little did I know that my fellow defender had gifted some space to friends of his while I drifted amongst the crowds  the night before. To my immediate right stood a tent containing two bodies I would spend the rest of the weekend with. Reciting internet jokes (because that's how we roll) between band sets in the arena and swapping stories.
Soon after Download had ended the wonderful world of the book of faces kept me in contact with them. Soon after that one of them showed me what they could do with a pen and paper. Even now she adds drawings and sketches to the internet that make me and a mass of others chuckle. Being the evil genius that I am, I swiftly kidnapped her talent for my own use.

Ladies and gentlegeeks of the world wide web, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you the new illustrator for My Mind Wanders. The doodling, zombie-killing, goth-living, snuggie-wearing girl of the hour, Miss Abbie Rial!

Abbie is going to be adding some much needed colour and style to kabamf.com by way of pictures to accompany the odd post. I'll spin the words and she'll dish out some magic with her pens. For now I'll leave it to her to explain a bit more about herself.

Abbie
"Now then, me lovelies! I’m Abbie, 19 years young, and I’m an Animation Student. Illustration has always been my passion, ever since I was a wee nipper, and I love coming up with, and drawing, Graphic Novels and short comics in my spare time. Mr. Kabamf and I met at Download 2011, amidst the legend that was: Black Camp: Camp Titty-kaka (A.K.A. Camp Coors Light, Nascar, Billy-Bob, LYNYRD SKYNYRD, HOOOOO-WEEEEEE!). He and our mate Rich rescued me and the other half from certain booze related trolley breaking disaster. Since then, I have forever become his sister-mother-cousin-yee-haw. Good times shall be had here, and I hope you enjoy my nonsensical doodles!"


So stay tuned you net surfers, you blog readers, you movers and shakers all. The fastest pen in the North is in town. (I'm not kidding either; that title banner was drawn up and scanned in about 5 minutes!)