I really want to post more right now. But everything I come up with is the same rhyming humour that I've done so far. I'd actually written two things that were just general thoughts and musings, but I know the handful that read this at the moment get that from me anyway. Whether they want it or not. But I deleted them. I just can't bring myself to write anything that isn't rhyming or light-hearted. This poses something of a dilemma:
1) Write something in that jovial rhyming manner to which I've become accustomed but seems a tad boring.
or
2) Attempt to write something that isn't anything like the above option but risk not enjoying it or thinking it's crap anyway.
What Would Batman Do?
...baby-stepping to success!
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Awkward Meetings & Philosophical Ramblings
L: Oh God. Don’t see me don’t see me don’t see me...
C: Who?
L: Her, there. Don’t look! Don’t see me don’t see me don-
F: Oh Hi, Liam.
L: Hey, um, Faith. How’re you doing?
F: I’m good thank you. Long time no see huh? You well?
L: Er...yeah, real long time. I’m okay thanks...
F: That’s good. Oh! You’re with someone. Well come on, aren’t you going to introduce us?
L: Yeah yeah, of course. Cyn, this is Faith in Humanity. Faith in Humanity, this is Cyn.
C: Hello. Nice to meet you.
F: Nice to meet you to. Cyn...that’s an interesting name.
C: Thanks. It’s short for Cynicism.
F: Very nice. So are you two...?
L: Yeah. We’re seeing each other.
F: That’s great. So how did you two meet?
C: A mutual friend introduced us actually. Apathy. It wasn’t really like him to take any interest in the matter but I’m certainly glad he did. (laughs)
F: Well that’s lovely to hear. I’m happy for you two.
C: Thank you. How do you two know each other?
L: Faith and I used to hang out all the time back in the day.
F: He’s being shy. We used to date. We were in a pretty good group of friends and just sort of hit it off. Speaking of which do you see any of the gang anymore?
L: Occasionally. Me and Jovial sort of drifted a part when university started.
F: That’s such a shame! You two were best friends. But I guess life gets in the way in the end.
L: You can say that again.
F: Anyway I best leave you two to your business. Cynicism it was wonderful to meet you. Liam, try and stay out of trouble. Bye!
L: Yeah, bye Faith...
C:...humph. Rub your relationship in my face why don’t you. Bet she’s making fun of my name to.
L: Don’t worry about it. Faith isn’t like that.
C: Whatever. Come on we’ll be late.
L: (glances back longingly to where Faith left)
This probably seems pessimistic. But I mean it in a light-hearted manner.
I’ll be the first to admit that since leaving school, going to university and dropping out then working full-time; that I’ve become somewhat jaded with...well, almost everything. Maybe it has something to do with growing up and having all these responsibilities which will definitely take their toll on you. Maybe as you get older you get more aware of what stories are reported on the TV or in the newspapers. Whatever the reason, it sure doesn’t help matters.
BUT, on the upside, every time something happens that bolsters my courting of Cynicism and my friendship with Apathy, it only acts to reinforce my personal 3 rules of life:
1. People suck.
This is immutable. Regardless of where you are or when you are, people will do bad things. Cynical: yes. Unfortunate fact: yes.
2. Shit happens.
Again, immutable. Something bad can and will happen to you at any time or place whether as an effect of rule #1 or just pure bad luck. Someone eats the food you were saving, miss your bus, break a bone etc.
3. Deal with it.
This rule is the most important. Whether you’ve been wronged by someone or the universe, just get on with it. Sulk, grieve, get angry, whatever you have to do but don't do it for too long. End of the day the only thing that will help you is if you dust yourself off and press on.
I’ve been saying these rules to people for years now. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy. Quite the opposite. Ultimately that’s all anyone wants to be and rule #3 is there for that very reason. Be cynical, be apathetic but do NOT be miserable. Because lets face it; no one likes a sourpuss.
(Except Dr. Gregory House MD)
C: Who?
L: Her, there. Don’t look! Don’t see me don’t see me don-
F: Oh Hi, Liam.
L: Hey, um, Faith. How’re you doing?
F: I’m good thank you. Long time no see huh? You well?
L: Er...yeah, real long time. I’m okay thanks...
F: That’s good. Oh! You’re with someone. Well come on, aren’t you going to introduce us?
L: Yeah yeah, of course. Cyn, this is Faith in Humanity. Faith in Humanity, this is Cyn.
C: Hello. Nice to meet you.
F: Nice to meet you to. Cyn...that’s an interesting name.
C: Thanks. It’s short for Cynicism.
F: Very nice. So are you two...?
L: Yeah. We’re seeing each other.
F: That’s great. So how did you two meet?
C: A mutual friend introduced us actually. Apathy. It wasn’t really like him to take any interest in the matter but I’m certainly glad he did. (laughs)
F: Well that’s lovely to hear. I’m happy for you two.
C: Thank you. How do you two know each other?
L: Faith and I used to hang out all the time back in the day.
F: He’s being shy. We used to date. We were in a pretty good group of friends and just sort of hit it off. Speaking of which do you see any of the gang anymore?
L: Occasionally. Me and Jovial sort of drifted a part when university started.
F: That’s such a shame! You two were best friends. But I guess life gets in the way in the end.
L: You can say that again.
F: Anyway I best leave you two to your business. Cynicism it was wonderful to meet you. Liam, try and stay out of trouble. Bye!
L: Yeah, bye Faith...
C:...humph. Rub your relationship in my face why don’t you. Bet she’s making fun of my name to.
L: Don’t worry about it. Faith isn’t like that.
C: Whatever. Come on we’ll be late.
L: (glances back longingly to where Faith left)
This probably seems pessimistic. But I mean it in a light-hearted manner.
I’ll be the first to admit that since leaving school, going to university and dropping out then working full-time; that I’ve become somewhat jaded with...well, almost everything. Maybe it has something to do with growing up and having all these responsibilities which will definitely take their toll on you. Maybe as you get older you get more aware of what stories are reported on the TV or in the newspapers. Whatever the reason, it sure doesn’t help matters.
BUT, on the upside, every time something happens that bolsters my courting of Cynicism and my friendship with Apathy, it only acts to reinforce my personal 3 rules of life:
1. People suck.
This is immutable. Regardless of where you are or when you are, people will do bad things. Cynical: yes. Unfortunate fact: yes.
2. Shit happens.
Again, immutable. Something bad can and will happen to you at any time or place whether as an effect of rule #1 or just pure bad luck. Someone eats the food you were saving, miss your bus, break a bone etc.
3. Deal with it.
This rule is the most important. Whether you’ve been wronged by someone or the universe, just get on with it. Sulk, grieve, get angry, whatever you have to do but don't do it for too long. End of the day the only thing that will help you is if you dust yourself off and press on.
I’ve been saying these rules to people for years now. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy. Quite the opposite. Ultimately that’s all anyone wants to be and rule #3 is there for that very reason. Be cynical, be apathetic but do NOT be miserable. Because lets face it; no one likes a sourpuss.
(Except Dr. Gregory House MD)
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Ramblings in Merriment
I do wonder from time to time,
While sipping rum mixed with lime,
Is there really a great divine?
For I must thank him for creating wine.
Wine of red and wine of white,
(But keep that pink stuff out of sight)
I drink them both with much delight
Until my wallet gives me a fright.
As the drink floods my brain,
To buy more I cannot refrain.
My throat becomes naught more than a drain
Until I’m jabbering like I’m insane.
Drunken falls will hurt your bum.
Drink enough and suffer a dickie-tum.
Slurred words like said through gum.
I do quite enjoy that lime and rum.
Ooh two posts in one day again. I spoil you internets, I really do.
This is another testament to my mind wandering when I'm at work.
While sipping rum mixed with lime,
Is there really a great divine?
For I must thank him for creating wine.
Wine of red and wine of white,
(But keep that pink stuff out of sight)
I drink them both with much delight
Until my wallet gives me a fright.
As the drink floods my brain,
To buy more I cannot refrain.
My throat becomes naught more than a drain
Until I’m jabbering like I’m insane.
Drunken falls will hurt your bum.
Drink enough and suffer a dickie-tum.
Slurred words like said through gum.
I do quite enjoy that lime and rum.
Ooh two posts in one day again. I spoil you internets, I really do.
This is another testament to my mind wandering when I'm at work.
Thrill
An adrenaline rush, a sugar high,
The thrill of new, a pleasurable sigh.
We crave, we yearn, we need, we want
Call it greed.
Call it lust.
Call it what you will.
To you others will shun,
But they're just afraid to admit
That it's so much god damn fun.
The thrill of new, a pleasurable sigh.
We crave, we yearn, we need, we want
Call it greed.
Call it lust.
Call it what you will.
To you others will shun,
But they're just afraid to admit
That it's so much god damn fun.
Friday, 19 March 2010
The Stars
In the beginning, the almighty created the stars.
Soon after followed man. Shaped in the image of their creator and with a penchant for creation themselves.
Man flourished. Ever more complex in tools and culture. In two short millennia man had dominated most of the known world. Then, in their thirst for more. More creations. More knowledge. Man turned their eyes to the earlier concoctions of the one who brought them forth.
The stars.
As man admired the stars in all their glory and power, questions begun to be asked. Questions that would shape man in ways nought else had before. Man stared at the stars and asked;
I wonder what she looks like without make-up?
Are they dating?
Is that a scandal?
How did they lose weight so quickly?
And thus, OK! magazine was born!
I'm getting into a not so healthy habit of using bathos all the time now. But dammit, humour is my comfort zone!
What is the deal with these magazines anyway? Heat, Ok!, Bella etc. I never quite understand why people would spend good money on a series of photographs of someone they've never met and most likely never will. Is it the deep seated cynic in me that thinks people just wish to make themselves feel better by seeing their icons in a state of disarray? Probably. Would I want to be one of those writers who pokes and jibes these strangers in the fashion of a common playground bully? Sullying their hard earned name just to earn a few more coin for my own selfish agenda to become rich and powerful myself? No...okay yes. But I wouldn’t enjoy it! I’d merely enjoy going back to my large and needlessly expensive home, adorning myself in silk pyjamas and proceeding to roll around in whatever finery is in style that week. All the while gargling on the finest caviar and eating volauvents in a most auspicious manner with my harem of supermodel-come-volleyball champions dancing in the background. Laughing at the underlings vying for the opportunity of who gets to be my foot rest later that evening. That I would enjoy.
Of course, there’s a good chance my idea of what paparazzi writers earn and get up to on their downtime is grossly incorrect.
Soon after followed man. Shaped in the image of their creator and with a penchant for creation themselves.
Man flourished. Ever more complex in tools and culture. In two short millennia man had dominated most of the known world. Then, in their thirst for more. More creations. More knowledge. Man turned their eyes to the earlier concoctions of the one who brought them forth.
The stars.
As man admired the stars in all their glory and power, questions begun to be asked. Questions that would shape man in ways nought else had before. Man stared at the stars and asked;
I wonder what she looks like without make-up?
Are they dating?
Is that a scandal?
How did they lose weight so quickly?
And thus, OK! magazine was born!
I'm getting into a not so healthy habit of using bathos all the time now. But dammit, humour is my comfort zone!
What is the deal with these magazines anyway? Heat, Ok!, Bella etc. I never quite understand why people would spend good money on a series of photographs of someone they've never met and most likely never will. Is it the deep seated cynic in me that thinks people just wish to make themselves feel better by seeing their icons in a state of disarray? Probably. Would I want to be one of those writers who pokes and jibes these strangers in the fashion of a common playground bully? Sullying their hard earned name just to earn a few more coin for my own selfish agenda to become rich and powerful myself? No...okay yes. But I wouldn’t enjoy it! I’d merely enjoy going back to my large and needlessly expensive home, adorning myself in silk pyjamas and proceeding to roll around in whatever finery is in style that week. All the while gargling on the finest caviar and eating volauvents in a most auspicious manner with my harem of supermodel-come-volleyball champions dancing in the background. Laughing at the underlings vying for the opportunity of who gets to be my foot rest later that evening. That I would enjoy.
Of course, there’s a good chance my idea of what paparazzi writers earn and get up to on their downtime is grossly incorrect.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Appearances: They Can Deceive
Tongue twisted.
Body tattered.
The ties that bound now fraying with age.
Then, with the softest of sounds, his soul began to tear.
What was once so supple, yet strong, now merely an inconvenience. Allowing all manner of detritus to fall and seep in. Clinging things making each footfall another hazard and the journey ever more difficult. It had weathered so much, held firm against everything thrown against it and finally given in.
At least these trainers had lasted longer than the last pair.
Ooh bet you thought I was being deep for a second didn't you internets. I hate having to buy new shoes. I'd shop online but then you have to gamble on them fitting properly. Plus you don't get to parade around the shop on your test drive, exclaiming to the sales person and all those in earshot;
"Do these make my ankles look fat?"
Just me huh? Okay. I'll go be quiet now.
Body tattered.
The ties that bound now fraying with age.
Then, with the softest of sounds, his soul began to tear.
What was once so supple, yet strong, now merely an inconvenience. Allowing all manner of detritus to fall and seep in. Clinging things making each footfall another hazard and the journey ever more difficult. It had weathered so much, held firm against everything thrown against it and finally given in.
At least these trainers had lasted longer than the last pair.
Ooh bet you thought I was being deep for a second didn't you internets. I hate having to buy new shoes. I'd shop online but then you have to gamble on them fitting properly. Plus you don't get to parade around the shop on your test drive, exclaiming to the sales person and all those in earshot;
"Do these make my ankles look fat?"
Just me huh? Okay. I'll go be quiet now.
The Man Who's Everywhere
He dances left
He dances right
He dances so faint he's hardly in sight.
You glimpse him here
You glimpse him there
You glimpse him almost everywhere.
Lock your doors
Close the veils
Grip the wood and dig in your nails.
Try and hide
See if you can
No one escapes the Dust Mote Man.
Apparently being bored at work makes me creative :P
He dances right
He dances so faint he's hardly in sight.
You glimpse him here
You glimpse him there
You glimpse him almost everywhere.
Lock your doors
Close the veils
Grip the wood and dig in your nails.
Try and hide
See if you can
No one escapes the Dust Mote Man.
Apparently being bored at work makes me creative :P
Look Ma! I'm "blogging"
SO! A fresh new blog. All idle and waiting to be either abandoned by yours truly or twisted into something horrible for some devious purpose.
A good friend actual pushed me on to this ever-growing craze, a friend who I'll no doubt reference immensely and has not one, oh no, not two, but FOUR blogs on the go. So if she can sustain four of the blighters and still find time to do all that life stuff then I can damn well try myself. Am I right? I'm right.
What you'll (hopefully!) see in the coming future is my questionable attempts at being creative. From doodles and characateurs to the ramblings of a Yorkshire mind addled by far too many nights in front of a TV screen or behind a book. Amateur at everything and Pro at nothing, if I can make myself continue updates and not let down that one fan (I know you're their Bluebird!) then in my mind this means I'm practicing. That wonderful and elusive P-word that apparently makes people better at things.
Now. I suppose I should get on with my real job...
A good friend actual pushed me on to this ever-growing craze, a friend who I'll no doubt reference immensely and has not one, oh no, not two, but FOUR blogs on the go. So if she can sustain four of the blighters and still find time to do all that life stuff then I can damn well try myself. Am I right? I'm right.
What you'll (hopefully!) see in the coming future is my questionable attempts at being creative. From doodles and characateurs to the ramblings of a Yorkshire mind addled by far too many nights in front of a TV screen or behind a book. Amateur at everything and Pro at nothing, if I can make myself continue updates and not let down that one fan (I know you're their Bluebird!) then in my mind this means I'm practicing. That wonderful and elusive P-word that apparently makes people better at things.
Now. I suppose I should get on with my real job...
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