IT'S BADDER! (it really isn't)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TOO MUCH FOR MR. INCREDIBLE! (...)
 |
| See. Goatee. He's evil now. |
13 is actually a lucky number in some cultures. Not in ours of course so for all we know the Mayans were right and rather than the world coming to some dramatic end, Western civilization is merely beginning to cease to be while places like China become the new Tom Cruise to our Steven Seagal.
Sure we had our fun; Eurovision; NASCAR; men pretending to be rivals in a square 'ring' while wearing spandex and enough body butter to induce coronaries in anyone looking too closely. The point is it's all change. Loose change, but change nonetheless. So rather than the cosmos throwing a wad of cash at our collective faces we should actually expect a few stray pennies now and then.
Heavy on the metaphors there. More like metafives, amirirte?
HI INTERNETZ! Check me out. Posting and shit. Why it's as if I wanted to be a writer or something. Yes change is here and it is most certainly not in my pocket, so in order to fix that I need to get working on this success lark. You know the one I'm talking about.
1) Acquire impressive skillset/dick
2) Become famous using impressive skillset/dick
3) Amass vast fortune and wealth/STD collection
4) Make a sex tape/obscene sex tape
Admittedly that checklist may be describing the life and times of Dirk Diggler and I can tell you right now that I do not have the necessary abs to pull off porn (sorry ladies). Can balloon model though. Make of that what you will.
So I'm here. I'm queer, but only in the odd way (sorry gentlemen). And fingers crossed things will flow a little better this year. Like warm butter down a hooker's back.
...still haven't shaken that warm butter addiction. STAY FOXY, WEB PEEPS!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thoughts? Musings? Don't be shy!