A fat pet can fall into two categories; overfed and spoilt. He is most definitely spoilt. Now spoilt pets are those who live the best lives, never wanting for anything be it food, toys or affection. They're tended to 24/7 and generally get fat because we care and it is all too easy to slip them a treat now and then. They're the furred, feathered and scaled image of Western society. The best example of this is any time your pet has been looked after by a family member who shares in your insanity. Whenever my dog is watched over by my grandmother I can guarantee he will return somewhat heavier than when he left. His time at her house is like going on a meat-tasting holiday. I'm talking fresh meat, cooked and served to him. The dog eats better than I do. It seems to be a common practice as well with my sister's dog gaining several pounds upon moving in with her boyfriend. Our very own Abbie has a fat pet too. A cat. Now rounder than ever. He's kind of more pinata than cat.
Overfed pets though, now they are another story. I don't quite know for sure but from what I can tell animals will eat their fill and then some. You ever heard an animal say "Ooh, you know what? I think I'll stop there. That last biscuit will go straight to my thighs." ? No, of course not. The very idea is ludicrous! Overfed pets are a cause for anger amongst animal lovers (the affectionate kind not the physical) because it's more than likely the animal is suffering. We've all seen pictures of rotund cats and dogs, their owners smiling with glee because their neglect has garnered them 5 minutes of fame while the animal in their arms has lost years of their life.
You can probably tell that any harm towards an animal ruffles my feathers (pun completely intended). I have been known to switch into a state of rage upon seeing a dog locked in a car on a hot day with the windows shut tight. Whether this has something to do with me looking something akin to a disco gorilla, all hairy with the occasional afro, I have no idea, but writing that sentence has just given me my next Halloween costume idea. No I'm afraid you people with obese pets need a good roundhouse to the face and the same goes for people who dress them up in things. Our pets are great, sure, they're funny, cute, puzzling and more often than not the thing that brightens our day up. Yes they're phat. But they don't have to be fat.
And now, Abbie weighs in. (Weighs in...'geddit? I'm frickin' hilarious!)
Abbie
"Ah, Norman. What can I say about Norman? We got him just about a year ago now as a tiny kitten from the RSPCA, and as stated, he was incredibly tiny. Granted, after neutering a pet there are some general cases of weight gain and whatnot…but for the love of GOD! How have you gotten THIS big?! We’ve never made any drastic changes to your meal, brand-wise or portion-wise, and try to play with you whenever you aren’t sleeping or eating or farting in a ghastly manner. Have we been doing something wrong?
Actually, no, we haven’t…you see, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, Norman has come across the old lady that lives over the fence at the back of our garden…and she is a ‘cat lady’. He has been tempted in by big portions and promises of nibbles during every visit. Since Norman has started popping that way on his little afternoon-ly adventures, he has been putting on the podge. Where once he was slim, lithe, and generally quite athletic before, he now waddles when he walks. He isn’t in an extreme case of weight gain, but noticeably, he has gotten much, much tubbier.
Safe to say, my mother and I are feeling betrayed…how could he just disregard our love like that and go to another woman?!!?
I’m off to drown my sorrows in a bucket of ice cream…"
Well said!
ReplyDeleteWhen a' were a lass, my Grandad used to feed our Springer Spaniel (Katie Morag Hoover Kerr-Gibbs) with Magnums. Yes; the most expensive and desired ice cream in the frozen treats cabinet. While I was relegated to the ice pops and Mini Milks, she was hand-fed on pure decadence.
That is all.
Side note: When I said frozen treats cabinet, I meant the one at the corner shop. We didn't have one at home. Though, that would be AWESOME, and is definitely to become my November plan (once I've rid my freezer of the pointless stuff, like vegetables).